i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
