go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
