Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
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