My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
