Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
