Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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