Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
