I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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