we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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