I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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