You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
