No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
