is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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