my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
