I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
