What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
