It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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