arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
