Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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