You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize