Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
