omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize