Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
