you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Can you bring me the toilet please
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
