I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
wow bdsm is so cute
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize