I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
