Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
