moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
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my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
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Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
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