Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize