yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize