You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize