was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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