i always forget guys have bellybuttons
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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