Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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