Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
