are you so shy because you have an std?
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize
