Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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