how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize
