every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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