So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
he was CRYING into my vagina
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
