Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
