he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
