he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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