dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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