this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
