I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
