PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
