I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
