According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
don't judge my taste in strippers
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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