I CAN MOONWALK!
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
