So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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