You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Randomize
