So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize