Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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