It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
