Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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