i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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