if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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