Tell her she can't have a vagina
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize