Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
