Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Randomize
