So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
