So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
